The ghost of relationships past

Got nice lingerie from an ex, and you're emotionally uncertain about taking them into a new relationship? Here are key points to keep in mind.

 Being loved in sexy lingerie is a great feeling for every woman. But what happens when that lingerie is from your ex?

 Of course, we all have to move on after a breakup, but one question on many women's minds is about using lingerie from an ex in a new relationship.

 Many women think it's okay, while others think it's taboo. And then there are those caught in the middle; torn between letting go of the past and losing a beautiful, pricey lingerie set. This post looks into this matter.
 

Lingerie From An Ex? 

Breakups & Bad Memories 

Breakups are tough on everyone – disappointment, loneliness, regrets, and so on. Though you still glimpse a few beautiful memories, the majority of your feelings towards a typical ex-boyfriend are negative. 

Experiences like the smell of his perfume, the sound of his voice, and seeing a picture of him will always trigger these memories. And then you feel bad for a moment, at the very least. 

To avoid these experiences, many get rid of everything in their lives that could remind them about the ex, including all clothing and lingerie. In such situations, there's nothing more to say here.

Battling Your Conscience 

For many other women, however, there are good reasons to hang on to a few stuff from the ex – an expensive gift, nice clothes, a bag, gadget, and of course, lingerie. 

The question here is “are you okay with it?” 

Are you okay wearing lingerie from your ex with your new boyfriend or husband? 

And if you are okay with it, does he know who gave you the gift? 

These are questions that you alone can answer for yourself. It is a battle with your conscience, then, in the end, you will have to live with yourself. If you are okay with these questions, then feel free to wear what you like.

Who Owns Lingerie? 

The goal of lingerie is two fold: 1) to entice the man and 2) to make the woman feel good about herself. Looking at it from this perspective, it's the couple that owns lingerie because there is always the admired and the admirer.

So, if you have ever been loved by your ex in lingerie that the ex gifted you, then that lingerie set belongs to you two as a couple.

 In other words, you will always remember all the fun, love, and romance you had in it. There's nothing wrong with this, except that it may affect your new and future relationships.

The Future May Hold Better 

While many women claim to cling on to lingerie from an ex because of the price tag, they often overlook the opportunity cost of not giving up these old memory triggers. 

Opportunity cost is an economic concept that represents what you lose by gaining something else. In this case, the opportunity cost is a more fulfilling relationship, since most women that keep old lingerie also keep the secret from their new men. 

Entirely giving up the past to focus on the present and future is the surest way to build a new and better relationship than what you had before.

 On the other hand, not giving up the past entirely might indicate a belief against getting better partners. For example, hanging on to lingerie because of price might indicate a belief of not being able to attract an equally generous new partner.

Jealousy Issues 

Now, assuming you decide to keep the lingerie and tell your new hubby its story, would everything be okay? 

In one way, yes, because you are being open about your life. But let's face the facts, you just made him more jealous than he ever could have been. It would be hurtful, even if he never shows it. 

Keeping such an intimate gift from an ex will raise all kinds of questions in his mind:

 Is she still into him? 

Am I just a second option? 

Will she or does she cheat with him?
 

Trashing It 

There are many satisfactory ways to get rid of your old lingerie from an ex. First, you could burn them and watch the remains of that old relationship disappear into the ashes and be done with your ex. 

Secondly, you could donate them to the needy or a textile recycler. You could also sell them online and make a few bucks or repurpose them in any way from rags to sponges, compost, plant holder, or anything else that tickles your fancy. 

Conclusion

You will agree that lingerie from an ex is the ghost of past relationships and what it may bring into your new relationship, you can never tell. 

So, unless you have a really good reason to keep them, why not just trash them? Or better yet, if unworn, give it to a second hand store.