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Know anyone in 5 questions!
Eager to find out everything about your date? Here are the top 5 questions to ask.
First dates can be fun and exciting, but they can also be challenging with a fear of the unknown, a desire to impress, and the pressure to succeed in your new relationship.
In essence, the outcome depends on your date's personality—either compatible with your expectations or not—and this makes it necessary to uncover this personality as early as possible.
This guide gives you the tools to probe deep into your date's psyche and find out all you need to know, while remaining cool and enjoying yourself.
Some Tips About First Date Questions
Research shows that words alone can deliver as little as 7% of all meaning in communication. This means that you will need the following tips to understand your new date as quickly as possible and avoid judgment errors.
- Appearances Matter: A person's overall appearance says a lot about his or her personality. So, look well first. How is the hairdo, clothing style, cleanliness, perfume, or any tattoos?
- Observe Postures: How does your date stand, walk, or sit? Observe and you will learn a lot.
- Stay detached: Avoid interpreting the answers from your point of view because being judgmental can make you to lose all the meaning conveyed. Just listen, observe, and take notes – in your mind of course.
- Observe Facial Expressions: Every smile, sadness, anger, and expression of disgust that you see tells you exactly how your date feels about any issue you are talking about. So, listen, pay attention and take notes because 55% of meaning is often expressed facially.
- Pay Attention To The Voice: The way a person speaks about issues also conveys about 38% of the meaning. So, listen for sadness, happiness, joy, hope, or fear in your date's voice while talking about any issue.
- Trust Your Gut Instincts: Finally, your gut instincts can be more accurate than a computer in understanding your date. So, while you try to stay mentally and emotionally detached from the discussion, never doubt any deep feelings you develop.
Best First Date Questions
1. |
Do You Have A Passion Project? |
2. |
What's Your Bucket List Like? |
3. |
What Are Your Hobbies? |
4. |
What Were You Like as A Child? |
5. |
How's The Relationship with Your Parents? |
- Do You Have A Passion Project?
Most people hate their jobs, they just do it to earn a living. A passion project, on the other hand, is a very good indicator of character. And a person with a passion project is often more resourceful, more emotionally balanced, and living a more purposeful life.
A passion project is a work that you do not do for the money. It is work you do for the love of it or because it is important and must be done. This includes running a small business, a non-profit, a community project, writing a blog, growing healthy food, and making an invention.
A passion project differs from a hobby in two major ways – dedication and purpose.
- Dedication: People are more dedicated to their passions than they are to their hobbies.
- Purpose: Hobbies are often for fun and during leisure hours. Passion projects have a long-term purpose.
- What's Your Bucket List Like?
A bucket list usually represents desires, dreams, and life goals. You can learn a lot from your date's bucket list, including possibly shared dreams. By understanding your date's outlook on life, you can quickly weigh how compatible your futures are.
- What Are Your Hobbies?
From football to tennis, video games, knitting, archery, and so on, the list of possible hobbies is endless. With your date, however, you are looking for shared activities, as well as to get an overview of the type of person they are.
People engaged in endurance sports often have a strong drive and are aggressive or persevering. Those in team sports are often team players, chess players are strategists, bookworms are introverts, gardeners are nurturing, you get the drift.
- What Were You Like As A Kid?
The answer to this question can shed some light on two important areas of your date's life – personal history and development.
- Personal History – This is a window into the earliest memories, the environment they came from, the type of parents, the family setting, and so on.
- Personal Development– By thinking about the past, your date will have to search inside and analyze memories from a more mature perspective. So, if you listen well, then you will learn a lot about his/her personal views about developing into an adult and this could be positive or negative. For example, saying I used to do this, but now I'm... or something like I was a very happy child, until...
- How's The Relationship with Your Parents?
“You can always tell how a man will treat his wife by the way he treats his mother”
~Janette Rallison
If he's not on good terms with his mother or has serious issues with her, then that should be a red flag for every woman on the lookout for a good man. Of course, there could be exceptions, but men with dysfunctional mother-child relationships often have problems with their women.
The same holds for the other gender – women with daddy issues can bring a lot of trouble into a man's life. Women's daddy issues are often caused by absent or emotionally neglecting fathers. This leads many to distrust all men, have low self-esteem, always be afraid of rejection, inability to commit, overly jealous, and a ton of other dramas that can challenge any man's sanity.
Conclusion
You have seen the top questions to ask and the insights they can bring you. Keep in mind, however, that nothing is set in stone. So, you should use these questions as guidelines and make adjustments as needed.
Also remember that no matter what you learn about your date, the final decision remains yours to make.