Remember when in 10 Things I Hate About You, Larisa Oleynik sees her sister’s black underwear and tells Joseph Gordon-Levitt it means she wants to have sex someday, or is sexually active? Because that’s the only reason someone would have black underwear. Underwear means things!

So ladies and gents, when you take off a girl’s pants, know that the underwear she’s wearing indicates what she thought this night would lead to, and what kind of girl she really is.

A nice, lacy thong

Girl knew she was getting laid. She pretty much thought you were a sure thing. She probably shaved her legs too. Whatever your plan was for the evening, she knew it was gonna end in sex. But she still wants to impress you.

She’s trying to look like she just wears this kind of underwear all the time, and if you say, “But my girlfriend does just always wear lacy thongs,” you are wrong. She just hasn’t opened herself up to you completely yet. The lacy thong means she still wants you to have some mystery, to think of her as a sexy ethereal being. Enjoy it while it lasts. (And for god’s sake, compliment them! She’s wearing them for you!)

Boy shorts

She’s a cool, chill girl. She probably wants to hang out, smoke weed, and watch a “Batman” movie. If your girl’s wearing boy shorts it means she’s still trying to look cute for you but she’s not into all that frilly mess. She probably doesn’t wear much make up and she probably won last year’s March Madness bracket while telling you and your friends to “suck it.”

She likes your friends. She likes low-key nights. She likes beer. She wears what she finds comfortable and she doesn’t like stress or drama. Keep this girl.

Questionable. Her taste has to be somewhat not that great if she thinks splashing, “Up All Night!” across her butthole is attractive or funny. It’s not funny. It’s weird to think of someone reading your butt. Why is that a thing?

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