Wondering what all the fuss is with Valentine's Day breakups? We take a closer look at this cultural peculiarity to see why it happens and how you can avoid it.
Do you know what day in the year has the highest breakup rate between couples? Valentine's Day, February the 14th.
About 7% of US adults say they've broken up with someone on V-Day, 6% say it was shortly before, and another 6% say it was shortly after. With millennials, that percentage gets even higher.
The same goes for celebrities. From Jlo and P.Diddy to Jennifer Aniston and Justin, Lady Gaga and Christian, Regina King and Malcolm-Jamal, the list is long. There is no doubt that valentine's season is break-up season, but why is that so?
This post looks at the top 5 reasons why the Valentine season is such a popular period for broken hearts and commitments.
Top 5 Reasons for Valentine Breakups
The Commercial Hype & High Expectations
Avoiding False Declarations of Love
Saving Gift Money
Affairs & Other Secrets
1.The Commercial Hype & High Expectations
If you got your heart crushed on V-Day, then the first group you should blame are all those businesses trying to sell the Valentine dream. From red roses to expensive candlelight dinners, 2-day getaways, you know the rest.
Valentine is a celebration of love, which everyone looks earnestly longs for. But like Christmas, marketers have turned it into something else. And while it may give us all a great feeling, it's a stressful period for lovers facing the consequences of unmet expectations.
This usually happens in a relationship with a demanding partner. You know, the hard to please type. So, take some time and ask yourself if your partner might be having a hard time trying to keep up with your wants and desires.
- Relationship Reevaluations
For many other couples, it boils down to the relationship's health. Things haven't been moving well in the recent past, the partner has disappointed you one time too many, or you just do not see the relationship going anywhere.
Human relationships are complex, and there are thousands of possible reasons that one partner or the other might decide to reevaluate the relationship.
The major question though is “are you willing to invest more in this relationship or not?” Do you feel you have invested more than your partner, or is it the other way round?
One sure way to prevent a breakup for this reason, is to communicate. Talk with your partner, explore the options, ask any questions you may have been avoiding, lay your cards on the table.
- Avoiding False Declarations of Love
Let's face it, not everyone is seriously into love and romance. And even when they are, it's probably not with you. For many, simply finding someone to occasionally sleep with is good enough. Friends with benefits, sex buddies, sugar arrangements, you know the drill.
The time comes, however, when one partner falls in love or just develops feelings and the other partner is either not feeling the same way or simply panics. Some people are afraid of deep emotional commitments. And with Valentine around the corner, breaking up becomes the easy way out.
Now, you can't heal every emotionally disturbed person out there. But if you discover that you've got such a partner, then your best bet to preserve the relationship is to avoid commitment pressures.
- Saving Gift Money
Believe it or not, some people truly love their partners, but just don't think it's worth spending all that money for a gift to prove what they feel.
The good news here is that this type is easy to make up with. So, just give it a few days, and you are reconciled – without the expensive gift, of course.
- Affairs & Other Secrets
Lastly, some partners do it for flings. They may have been secretly wooing someone new the last few weeks or months, but just feel too righteous to cheat.
But with Valentine's Day around the corner and the lure of sexual adventure beckoning, the logical consequence here is often to dump the partner for some fun.
The silver lining is that such breakups might be good for the victim in the long run, because once an infidel, always an infidel. Better to let go.
As you can see, different people will react differently to different situations or emotional pressures. You can help some situations by avoiding those pressures, but some are also hopeless.
In the end, Valentine's Day is a celebration of love, and true love is not forced. Simply give your best in all your relationships and let life take its course.
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