Have you ever heard of the rule of five? In essence, this rule describes the five personality types that you’ll find amongst the average group of guys on a night out. These personality types include The General, who rounds them up and directs them all; The Joker, who keeps them laughing and upbeat; The Nice Guy, who is everyone’s friend and confidant; And The Loser, who is probably only there on the nice guy’s insistence or because of some vague historical acquaintance.
The last of these types is The Lothario, the Fonzie of the group – the guy who can walk into an empty bar, click his fingers and walk away with the future Miss World. That’s who you want to be.
How to make the leap
Making the transition from loser to Lothario is not as difficult as you may think. The only difference between the two is that the latter has, at some point and for some reason, learned to better manage how they present themselves.
The lady’s man is an actor of sorts, applying a few simple tricks to his seduction routine that he has found to have worked through trial and error. Some of these are end game routines after an initial relationship has already been developed, some of these are first steps, but they all work most of the time.
The following list describes ten such moves that you can use to get her out of your dreams and into your bed.
#1 Talk her out of them. Managing your speech is a vital part of charming the pants off a girl. Content is an obvious contributory factor, but additionally so is the pace, pitch and tone of speech. A considered, deep, and rolling voice really turns a woman on and makes her sit up and notice you. Even if you don’t naturally have the James Earl Jones tone, there is much you can do to manage your vocal output.
Just slow down, think about what you’re going to say, avoid ‘umming’ and ‘ahhing’ and keep your voice as consistently smooth and low as you can without sounding like a Barry White tribute act. Just watch her develop that starry-eyed expression as you, unknowingly to her, talk her panties off.
#2 Compliment her. The art of the well measured compliment is a difficult one to master, but it just takes a little bit of practice before it becomes as natural as breathing. The trick is to commit to it. Don’t dance around the subject, don’t dither or administer the compliment in a sheepish or nervous manner. Place yourself firmly in her primary line of sight, look her in the eye and deliver with deep measured tones, punctuated by a closing smile.
Two things to remember: if this makes her shy and the atmosphere becomes uncomfortable, then prepare to step in with some lighter conversation. Also, if she returns the compliment, accept it with a smile and a firm thank you. Trying to avoid her compliment will undo all your good work and make you look weak.
#3 Triangular eye contact. A well tried and tested trick of the serial seducer, this refers to how eye contact is used. Never allow eye contact to occur reflexively, but manage its application throughout the entirety of any conversation you have with the female object of your desires. Ensure it never drops below face level for a start – you don’t want to be identified early on as some kind of a sex pest – and instead look at each of her eyes individually in turn, before just occasionally dropping one’s eyes to her lips.
Eye to eye contact shows a certain strength of character and interest in the other person, whereas looking at their lips is a clear subconscious indicator of attraction. Don’t be too systematic in this process, however, and try to vary the amount of time spent looking at each. A clockwise half second per point on the triangle is likely to be misinterpreted as some kind of nervous tick!
#4 Invite her to talk. Show interest in her. Women are, generally speaking, the more gregarious of the genders, and although they enjoy strong mutually weighted conversations with friends, they will rarely be given the opportunity to talk solely about themselves – especially by men. Ask her questions about herself to get the ball rolling, then sit back and observe how swiftly she becomes putty in your hands.
#5 Cook her a meal. If you’ve already developed the relationship to the stage where you’ve been dating, but the physical side of things hasn’t developed yet, then knock the eating out on the head and invite her to your place for a bit of home cooking. There are so many reasons why this will charm the panties off her.
Firstly, women just love men who can cook. It shows both independence and the ability to provide for others. Secondly, you can create an ambience romantic enough to facilitate your plans. Thirdly, when everything is going your way and you are in control of the situation, that short hop to the bedroom can be made without any cooling of the mood or time for second thoughts.
#6 Massage. Maybe combine this move with number five, if that still hasn’t produced the kind of result you are after. Take her to the sofa, which is less threatening than the bedroom, give her a sensual neck, back or foot massage and watch her just melt under your fingertips.
#7 Be her hero. On the average night out, with the drinks flowing, things get said that people would not usually dare, things that might even be a little hurtful. This usually gets laughed off, but if you witness such ill behavior being directed towards the woman you are determined to bed, then leap immediately to her rescue.
No fisticuffs, as that will probably produce the opposite of the desired result, but instead go for a firm and sensible delivery of a stout defense in her favor. The ladies love a hero, and she’ll be gushing over you for the rest of the night and, hopefully, right into your bed.
#8 Be an alpha male. Be strong is essentially the message here. Talk in a measured and strong way. Consider other people’s viewpoints, but don’t be afraid to argue the toss if you believe they are wrong. Don’t be a moaner or a sorry-sayer. Be firm, positive and self-assured in everything you do and say, and she’ll be all over you in no time, eager to gain the favor of the alpha male in the pack.
#9 Show generosity. Generosity is a real turn on for many women. Again, it taps into that primeval need to survive, and those identified as providers get an immediate head start on others. So, if you’re out with friends, let her see you buying them all drinks, taking control of the rounds with good will and nil hesitation. If you’re out for a meal with her, having already reached the dating stages, make sure there’s a far more generous than usual tip awaiting the waiter at the meal’s end. She will love it.
#10 Know when to walk away. Sometimes, we get it wrong and lingering around too long after a faux pas can seem desperate and needy. If something has gone significantly awry and you feel that a claw-back would be too difficult to execute at this time, then leave it until the next. A positive and measured farewell delivered with charm and good grace might just salvage a situation that a few more drinks and a diluted lingering presence may ruin.
Any one of the above moves is likely to produce at least some results. When used in tandem, the effects can be devastatingly positive that you’ll have her all over you by the end of the night!