Contrary to popular belief, you don't need a working knowledge of 52 sexpositions or a background in porn to be ridiculously good in bed. Instead, it comes down to more subtle (and realistic) factors that you may already posses. And if you don't, we're here to help you hone the skills you really need to blow your partner's mind.
YOU'RE NOT JUDGMENTAL
Whether it's hearing out your partner's fantasy or allowing yourself to really identify your own, being open to different desires and turn-ons is essential in a partner, says sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First. "Remember it's all in the realm of fantasy—it's not something you ever have to do," says Kerner. So put aside your judgments and really listen to the desires of you and your partner. You may find that you're into some really interesting stuff.
We see the arm of a couch, you see a great prop for doggie style. We see a bra, you see a bondage tool. Being creative and looking for new ways to spice things up is crucial in a lover, says sex and relationship therapist Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., author of The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples. "Someone who says 'let's dress up,' or 'let's go into the closet,' or anything that's a bit more interesting is great," says Schwartz.